Monday, April 15, 2019

Chalmers Selection Event Wine, For all your PLCB events!

HARRISBURG, Pa., April 14, 2019 /PRNewswireless/  

The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board Fine Wine and Good Spirits State-Owned Monopoly Retail Stores Of Distinction is proud to announce exclusive Pennsylvania rights to the new Chalmers Reserve Event Wine. Presenting a bottle of Chalmers Reserve Event Wine to Chairman Tim Holden (represented for the event by a cardboard cut-out figure), Director of Wines (Other) Sue Broomhall stated, "Everybody at the PLCB knows that the better the commercial, the better the wine. One bottle of Chalmers and your party will certainly get started."

"So true!" shouted a group of non-certified wine specialists from the PLCB's luxurious tasting room. 

"And Pennsylvania consumers won't even have to pay the $1 a bottle cost mentioned in the commercial" Ms. Broomhall continued. "With the flexible pricing authorization of Act 39 allowing us to negotiate prices and markup, we are proud to bring this to Pennsylvania for only $14.99 a bottle!"

For further information on this and other exciting items soon to be seen at the State Store System of Stores, or maybe at the return of the Wine Kiosks®, please contact your local store. They'll be glad to provide whatever they decide you need. 


Anonymous said...

I used to be able to find good information from your articles.

Albert Brooks said...

This isn't the first satire i've published nor will it be the last. It does say Satire in the label so maybe you should avoid that in the future and just read the others.