In
Quakertonia, all gasoline and diesel fuel sales are made by the state's Fuel Control Board; kerosene and propane are sold by private businesses (fuel distributors can only sell 55 gallon drums of kerosene and 500 lb. tanks of propane; grill stores can sell 20 lb. grill tanks and five gallon cans of kerosene.
No one knows why). Every town of 3,000 people gets a Fuel Shop; the price is the same in every town --
high -- diesel is only available in special stations on the highways, and the sales clerks are only allowed to sell fuel to licensed drivers. Fuel sales are "controlled" by the state because gasoline is highly flammable and the vapors are explosive (and carcinogenic), and because uncontrolled gasoline sales could lead to people driving all over the place (which apparently has
no ill effects in neighboring, "uncontrolled" states) and because the taxes are a
huge source of revenue.
In
New Cornwall, all cigarette and cigar sales are made by the state's Tobacco Control Board; pipe and chewing tobacco are sold by private businesses (leaf shops sell
Prince Albert in the can (hee hee!) and 20-packs of Skoal; gas stations can sell bags of Red Man and single cans of Copenhagen.
No one knows why). Every town of 3,000 people gets a Smoke Shop; the prices are the same in every town --
high -- cigars are only available in stores in big cities, and the sales clerks are only allowed to sell smokes to 16 year olds and up. Tobacco sales are "controlled" by the state because tobacco is a health hazard (which apparently is no worse in neighboring, "uncontrolled" states than in New Cornwall) and because the taxes are a
huge source of revenue.
In
Minnewaska, all prescription drugs -- no, wait -- all
guns are sold by -- no, hang on, how about all the
cars, yeah, the state sells all the cars and you're not allowed to buy cars in another state... and coffee, too. And power tools. And energy drinks. And horny goat weed.
You get the picture. Why is wine and spirits the
only retail business the State is in?
What makes booze so special?Reason #16:There is no convincing reason that wine and spirits should be "controlled" more than anything else.The basis for "control" is, first of all, over 75 years out of date. It goes back to the idea that drinking, any amount of drinking, was dangerous for
anyone, not just alcoholics. More to the point, control of alcohol was more about
morals than it was about anything else. Here's what The Almighty Liquor Code says about why the PLCB was founded:
for the protection of the public welfare, health, peace and morals of the people of the Commonwealth and to prohibit forever the open saloon, and all of the provisions of this act shall be liberally construed for the accomplishment of this purpose.
You know what? Back in those days there were all kinds of laws about morality. Depending on the state or town, you could be busted for selling a condom (now they sell 'em in vending machines), stores didn't open on Sundays (even the State Stores are open on Sundays now), you couldn't sell porno through the mail (they give it away on the Internet...), you couldn't even swear on TV. All that went away, and lots of other things from that same kind of thinking, but Pennsylvanians still have to put up with the State selling them booze, and protecting their health, peace, and morals.
Come on! I can buy a can of
diesel fuel at the Sunoco station, a bag of
fertilizer at the Agway, and
The Anarchist Cookbook off Amazon. I can buy a
gun (we get constant wrong numbers for a local gunshop), I can buy everything I need to cook up
crystal meth (or so they tell me), I can buy a tank of
propane, I can buy
cigarettes, I can buy an
aluminum baseball bat, I
have bought long kitchen knives. Compared to this stuff, what is
so damned dangerous about a bottle of merlot that the state has to
control my access to it?
The entire idea of
control is
pointless. We do not have border controls; New Jersey's got stores full of whiskey and wine right over
there and they don't
control me. We can buy a case of 11% beer at the privately-owned distributor. We can go to a bar and drink whatever they have.
The only thing "control" does...is make buying booze a pain in the ass.
The PLCB should be abolished because the idea that sales of wine and spirits need to be "controlled"
makes no sense when compared to other products: guns, explosives, drugs, tobacco, cars, airplanes, knives, power tools... The State collects taxes on wine and spirits, but it collects taxes on beer, too: through the distributors. The State makes its mark-up on wine and spirits; why not have the State sell everything, then, from groceries to fishing rods? It makes no sense, and if it weren't for the blanket interpretation of the 21st Amendment that states can do whatever they want with alcohol, it would be
gone.Let's get rid of this dinosaur.
Is it just about the money? Then make it about the money. Sell it --
make money -- auction off booze store licenses --
make money -- and PA stores will be selling all that booze that the superstores over the border are selling now -- and
making money.
There's no real reason not to do it.