What I Like about the PLCB

...
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Hmmm....
No, not that.
Err, maybe...
Nope.
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Ah, I got it!

It always reminds me why I shop out of state: for price, selection, and service.

Hop across the river and save.

You're not in your state store anymore

Yep, that is a real New Jersey Liquor store. 10,000 wines, over 4,000 spirits and 1,500 beers. 

The PLCB responds to the Smackdown.

The PLCB response to the Smackdown?  I don't know but I can see it...

A meeting in the $40,000 PLCB drinking lounge they have set up in Harrisburg. The big screens are showing the Travel Channel, and soft music is playing. The question: what to do about the cheeky ad Total Wine ran directly comparing prices with the State Fine Store Wine and State Good Store Spirits Shoppes; and not too good a comparison for the drones in old Harrisburg. Ideas are not developing, but then someone gets a rush of blood to the brain.

"Hey, let's allow this rum to be put on special. We'll make up some cool tags and let everybody know we can put bottom shelf liquor on special too." No one has any better ideas, so the mighty marketing muscle of the PLCB lurches into action.

The next week, the sale is on, but the one brainy manager in the system (who runs the store in Snow Shoe, open three days a week for customer convenience) spots something amiss. "There is something that doesn't look right with these tags. It did pass the Art Department, The Printers, the Marketing Department, The Store Operations Director, and then was approved by the Board though, so I guess it is OK.

"But I thought that a liter was a third more than a 750ml. I guess I was taught wrong in school if all those smart people agree it's actually 25% more. Wait, isn't 'then' used to indicate time of some kind, and it's 'than' that's used for comparative purposes? Naw, they couldn't have two mistakes on one tag; nobody is that incompetent, not even in Harrisburg! Well, nobody will notice anyway. If our guys didn't catch it, then (or is it than?) the public won't either. What do they know about math and grammar compared to the folks in charge of the PLCB!"

Yup. It's a classic. Pure PLCB.

No wonder the PLCB doesn't like selling liters anywhere other than at their so-called "outlet" stores. The math makes their brains hurt!

(P.S. Total Wine sells the 1.75L at a lower cost per oz  even with the PLCB "sale")

Let’s Kill Another Privatization Myth

Like the movie, some supporters of the State Store System will "say anything" to keep the PLCB jobs program and prevent the citizens from having the choice, selection, and service enjoyed in the majority of states.

The latest in their series of  "Look (at our) Interesting Example," or LIE as I like to call it, is that privatization will kill craft beer, micro-distilleries, and small wineries (you pick: one, two, or all) in Pennsylvania. 

Really? Consider:

1.       What state has the largest number of craft brewers?

2.       What state has the largest number of micro-distillers?

3.       What state has the largest number of small wineries?

4.       What do these states have in common?

Not hard to figure out that California is the answer to #3, but they also lead in #1 with 316 as of last year. Question two goes to the state best known for distilling, Kentucky, with 16 micro distillers as of 2013 and California is second with 14

Both California and Kentucky have private alcohol sales - retail and wholesale. So tell me again how privatization will kill off these businesses in PA?  I’ll wait while you make up something.
.....Right. Exactly.

My next article will prove that PA rural roads have nothing to do with DUI fatalities compared to our surrounding states. Another LIE that pops up a lot.

More on Contigate

Monica Yant Kinney scorched the two apparently ethically-challenged heads of the PLCB -- Joe Da CEO Conti and PJ "PJ" Stapleton --  this morning in her Inquirer column. It made me think more about this, because she brought up some good points, not least of which was this: why were these guys dumb enough, cheap enough to do this stuff on their State-supplied email and computers...after Bonusgate and the conviction of Bill DeWeese?

Putting in an order for more Phillies tix

It's worth pausing to shudder that Harrisburg remains so clueless about the need to separate public business and political enrichment in the aftermath of Bonusgate and Computergate, the scandals and trials that led disgraced former House Speakers John Perzel and Bill DeWeese to share a prison cell.
Have those who run this state learned nothing about relegating greed to their home networks? Surely these guys can afford a second BlackBerry. After all, Gmail is free.

Apparently they haven't.

I posted this on Facebook, and some have brought up that this kind of thing is common in many industries. Well, sure. I have to say, the booze companies think nothing of this kind of stuff. It's open knowledge that I accept samples -- practically everyone in the business does, even journalists at newspapers with solid ethics codes (when you get samples from everyone, there's no influence to be "nice" to anyone in particular) -- and I've been on junkets to production facilities. Those were only when I had an actual story to write, and believe me, the Caribbean rum trips and cognac trips I've turned down, jeez, I woulda liked to have gone....but that didn't pass my personal sniff test.

I've turned down offers that were just plain over the line. Like Phillies tickets, and concerts. Only time I've ever been in a Phillies box is when I was hired to do a beer tasting in one; only free tickets I've ever accepted were from the Red Cross as a thank-you for platelet donations. I don't do that. I keep it to stuff that will actually, honestly help me do my job by getting me into relevant facilities and areas that I wouldn't otherwise be able to visit. And when I do, I make a point of noting that it was paid for, and I try to write about it as honestly as possible.

The difference is, by the rules these guys acknowledged when they took the jobs, all of that kind of thing is illegal and unethical. They are government officials, in charge of a retail monopoly, and therefore have to play by different rules. Apparently they forgot that, and yes, that does make you wonder about the "culture" at the rest of the agency...especially an agency that's been the subject of multiple special audits in the past few years for possible ethics violations (that found that while the agency had met the letter of the law, the spirit of the law was bent or broken).

Does all this have anything to do with privatization? Does it say anything about the agency and its mission? Or is it, as one State Store clerk and union rep told me, simply an ad hominem attack on the people at the top, and has nothing to do with the State Stores? Stepping aside from his misunderstanding of the ad hominem fallacy, I would argue that even so, there is a direct relationship between the agency and the behavior of its leaders...particularly given that the same kind of ethical violations took place at another, very similar agency (the North Carolina ABC, see below), and that, as I mentioned above, this isn't the first ethical question that has come up at the agency.

This is an independent agency. It answers to no one directly. The Governor can't fire Joe Da CEO, he can only ask the Board to do so, and has made it clear that the Board has defied him on that (something they did to Ed Rendell fairly regularly). The Legislature can't make the PLCB do anything without changing the Liquor Code, something they've shown very little stomach for -- at least, any effective change. The PLCB has its own judges (lazy though they apparently are), its own police agency (yes, under the State Police, but at the PLCB's beck and call; it's called the Bureau of Liquor Control Enforcement, after all), and most importantly, its own budget. The Legislature can't even cut off their funds, the usual method of reining in a rogue agency.

The PLCB has grown to be lazy, arrogant, and wasteful. The administrative costs of the retail operation are out of control; there are fewer stores and more employees than there were in 1999, for example. It is a patronage pit; Conti's job alone proves that. Privatization will cure that. The regulatory functions will run cleaner without the contradictory retail function, or they could easily be assigned to other agencies (as suggested here and here), which would save even more money.

We'll have to take it to the Capitol before this is over.

The Legislature may have dropped the ball...again. Doesn't mean we have to. I'm working on a plan of action, and hope to have it up here shortly. This is opportunity, people: Turzai's shit plan HB11 has failed. We need to press our desires home to the Governor's office, but they won't give a damn if we don't give a damn.

Read that quote up to the right, the one that's been here since the day I started this blog. It's the truth, and it's the only way we'll get this done.

"...there was [in 1997] no overarching passion within the General Assembly, or in the public at large, for privatization. Unless and until there is a general hue and cry, it is very unlikely there will be a privatization initiative that succeeds." -- John E. Jones III, former PLCB chairman

Le Kiosque Nouveau est arrive!

Oh, at last, at last! The PLCB's long-threatened wine kiosks have arrived!

And the Harrisburg Patriot-News very obligingly sent reporter Liam Migdail-Smith to try out one of the two prototypes. He chose the one at the Wegmans on Carlisle Pike in Silver Spring Township, and filed this report. The paper's Joe Hermitt also video'd the experience, which you can watch above.

It's amazing, really. These awesome new wine kiosks let you buy one of FIFTY THREE different wines (even more than the fifty originally promised!) just by...

1. Making a selection by touchscreen (better than talking to a State Store System clerk, right?) 
2. Scanning your driver's license (got any outstanding warrants? Just kidding!) 
3. Swiping your credit card ("swiping" is just a technical term) 
4. Signing a touchpad (dontcha just love those electronic pens?)
5. Activating the breathalyzer by touchscreen (don't get flustered when you forget this step, like the reporter did)
6. Blowing into the breathalyzer to prove your BAC is below 0.02 (maybe you'll get instructions too; and yes, that is much lower than Pennsylvania's legal limit; the PLCB's just being careful about your safety (and their liability)) 
7. Waiting for the breathalyzer results (don't look nervous, you're fine! ...although the PLCB does admit "It is possible the machine may detect alcohol when a consumer hasn't been drinking, but the PLCB will err on the side of caution." No worries, though, she'll be right...s'long as you're buying Yellowtail, right, mate?)
8. Standing still in front of a video camera so a PLCB employee at a remote site can confirm you are the person on the license (they probably hired really attentive folks for this, so don't think about how mortifying a 'false positive' would be at this point; they will probably shred your license, though...)
9. Moving to the correct door (apparently identified by flashing lights; don't worry about the wrong one lighting up, because no one else can use the damned thing until you're done already, buddy!) 
10. And about two minutes after you started (assuming nothing in this chain of events goes wrong), you can pick up your bottle of wine!

That is SO COOL! What will they think of next?! They're probably working on sending wine to your house by pneumatic tubes or little trolleys on overhead wires or something!

People in other states are making fun of us as you read this. Hell, people in this state are making fun of us as I write this! Want to read something funny? Check out the official PLCB press release on these technological marvels. My favorite part? "The entire process will take less than 20 seconds." A close second: "The kiosks are a way to give our customers an added level of convenience in today's busy society." HA!

Ask yourself some questions.

First, and most important, what is so important about "control" that makes this better in any way than what they do in a majority of states: buy bottles of wine right off the grocery store shelves?

Second, think about your elderly parent trying to buy a bottle of wine from this thing. Now...think about them trying to buy one while you're waiting in line behind them, just wanting to get a bottle and go home, because there's only going to be one per store. Like that picture?

Next, think about why no one seems to mind that the major investors on this single-bid contract are major political donors?

Then think about this: the PLCB says they're not paying for the kiosks, that Simple Brands LP (no link given because they have no website...and isn't that odd for this ostensibly "hi-tech" company?) is making money in other ways: the advertising on the kiosks, for instance, and...hey, wait a minute...how do the wines that get into the kiosks as your only choices get picked? The PLCB says they're picking them, but that would seem to be a problem for "ad revenue." Is this a slotting fee scenario? Because I thought that was illegal for booze. Far as that goes, what's Wegmans get out of it? The lure of the kiosk? Garces Trading Company, anyone?

Oh, and ask yourself this: what kind of smart-ass answer will the kiosk give you if you tell it you'd like a nice bottle of cabernet franc?

Finally, after you've asked all those questions, ask yourself this: isn't it time you wrote your legislator and told them that they should support Mike Turzai's bill to abolish the State Store System?

Abolish the PLCB! Rewrite the Code! KILL THE KIOSKS!

Get Mom Vodka For Mother's Day? Why not?

If you've never heard of the Independent State Store Union, you're missing some fun. They're the union that represents the managers of the State Store System, and they have a real love-hate relationship with the PLCB and the state's monopoly on liquor and wine sales: they love to complain about the PLCB, and they apparently hate alcohol and working late. They put out press releases all the time, critical of the PLCB's  policies and the Board members themselves; they're usually inadvertently hilarious in their earnestness.

Recently, they sent an editorial to the Centre Daily Times suggesting that the serious abusive drinking situation at Penn State could be alleviated...by shorter hours in the State Stores. You can only assume that they'd expect to get the same pay for those shorter hours, but that probably has nothing to do with their idea, it's all about the children. They do display a disturbing disgust with alcohol, considering their job is selling it: "the PLCB continues to promote a carnival-like alcohol atmosphere for drinkers..." I haven't seen any tilt-a-whirls at my local State Store, but I'll keep an eye out for them.

Their latest press release is here...oh, to hell with it. I'll just reprint it. It's a press release, right, and this is the press, right? Fair use! They're upset that the PLCB has an ad campaign suggesting that folks buy their mothers a nice bottle of vodka for Mother's Day. Actually, they're freaking out about it.

"Your Mother's Day promotional radio ad program costing $142,000 is more damaging to the common good of all Pennsylvanians than the mere dollars expended.  You refuse as Board and chief staff members to make any decision that is contrary to the most outrageous marketing strategies of the alcohol beverage industry no matter what effect they have on the public good.  You are collectively the number one drug pushers in Pennsylvania.  As puppets of the alcohol beverage industry, you have abdicated any role of being a regulator against the bottom line interests of the industry," says Ed Cloonan, Information Director for ISSU.
Cloonan continues, "Your Mother's Day radio/print hawking promotions makes a joke of alcohol education for women.  In advance of Mother's Day 2011, you will be able to send coupons and frequent drinker credit rewards to pregnant women."

ISSU is asking all five gubernatorial campaigns to replace the three PLCB Board members, the CEO, the Director of Marketing and Merchandising, and the Director of Retail Operations as quickly as possible after the winning candidate assumes office in a new administration."

Where to begin?The guys who manage the stores that sell booze are accusing their bosses of being "drug pushers," they stoop to the lowest sort of neo-prohibitionist hype-drivel ("frequent drinker credit rewards to pregnant women," forsooth!), and...they're calling for their boss to be fired. Now, I'm all for calling for my boss to be fired if they deserve it; I did it while in federal service in 1989...but I did it in my exit interview. Because publicly saying your boss should be fired -- for selling drugs!-- is usually tantamount to submitting your resignation. This is a big Reason to abolish the State Store System: to do away with counter-intuitive foolishness like this.



This report on WHTM (ABC affiliate in Harrisburg) shows what a mountain is being made out of this molehill. This is all -- pardon the expression -- bullshit. No one mentions the key point: selling and buying a bottle of vodka is perfectly legal in Pennsylvania (as long as the person selling the bottle is a State Store System employee or an employee of one of the very few licensees that offer bottle service, and the person purchasing it is of legal age). Giving it to a legal age woman is legal, whether or not she has children of any age. To suggest otherwise is sexist, foolish, and offensive.

In summation, I'm actually neutral on this, as far as the PLCB goes. I still say that a state agency acting like a retail business is simply absurd. But I don't see this as a particularly bad example of that absurdity, like, say, the Courtesy Contract was. On the other hand, the ISSU is a great example of the kind of bizarre situation that a state retail monopoly on booze sales can generate. Kill the State Store System as a favor to the ISSU: they hate selling alcohol...let them find a new, cleaner job selling something else.

Full disclosure, as always. I have a horse in this race: I got Cathy gin for Mother's Day, and I thought of it before I heard the ads (and I'm pretty sure she won't see this before tomorrow morning). She likes gin, and there's no reason she should suffer just because I usually prefer beer and whisky. So she's getting a hand-assembled gin bouquet; I think it turned out rather well.

Nothing doing

Got this today.

"Hello,
I'm Joy from SeoBlogReviews.com.
I would like to know if by any chance you would be interested in getting paid to publish reviews of products and websites on your blog http://noplcb.blogspot.com/.
If you are interested please let us know the amount of money you want in order to publish a review by clicking the following link:
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As soon as you do that we'll start sending you paid review proposals from our customers.
Thanks,
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No, thanks. I review the PLCB solely for the cathartic effect.

Different State, Same Love

Massachusetts has a booze-selling system I'd actually like to see PA emulate: the "package store." The packie sells all booze types, and is privately-owned; the number of stores one entity/person can own is limited (to three, I think). The state's wholesalers are also private, although there is some contention about monopolistic practices there that's worrisome. The system worked fine: local stores supplied local wants and needs, and there are stores that specialize in cheap bulk goods, and stores that specialize in the high end. Everyone's happy.

Except the state's legislators, it would appear. They recently jacked the tax on booze up by 6.25%, despite the clear likelihood that people along the state's heavily populated border with New Hampshire would simply slip over the line, losing the state tax revenues and losing the packies up there a lot of business.

Well, isn't that just exactly what happened last weekend, when someone caught Massachusetts representative Michael Rodrigues at a New Hampshire liquor store, loading booze into his car, clearly licensed with a "House 29" Mass plate. The Boston Herald reported the story with an understandable amount of restrained glee.

The witness, who requested anonymity, claimed he approached Rodrigues, noted his State House plate, and asked if he was on personal or official business. Rodrigues, who was loading booze into his car, snapped “mind your own business,” the witness said.

Beautiful. (Rodrigues, by the way, in an interview about the incident, blamed the fuss about it on “Republican demagoguery. Unfortunately, I think that’s why the Republican Party is in such bad shape in Massachusetts,” Rodrigues is quoted as saying. “The electorate here is smart enough to figure out what they’re up to.” Really?) The Herald also noted that police have cracked down on cross-border booze purchases. Too bad they didn't catch Rodrigues.

What's this have to do with the PLCB? Nothing. Nothing except to point out that different state taxes and policies on booze lead directly to smuggling -- because that's what this guy was doing, albeit on a small scale -- and we shouldn't be surprised at all by the number of PA plates that show up in the parking lots at Canal's and Total Wine. Wonder if any PA legislators ever...nah, they wouldn't do that. After all, the selection's so much better in PA. Joe "CEO" Conti says so, and he oughta know.