Pennsylvania isn't even a good liquor control state Pt. 2

In the first part of this story, we showed that even the other control states didn't think much of the PLCB, pretty much shutting them out of the "best practices" awards at the NABCA convention (National Alcohol Beverage Control Association; yes, it's real). Maybe it's because Pennsylvania doesn't even pay attention to what other control states are doing.

Imagine you are a slow, lumbering dinosaur from the Prohibitioneaous Era, just doing your own thing, not really paying any attention to what the world around you is doing; why should you, you've got the world to yourself! About 40 years ago, you get this itch. It isn't so bad, so you just ignore it, but it gets a little worse each year. Finally you decide to see what it is, and you plod over to the dinosaur doctors at Stateways (where all the dinosaurs go!). They tell you that you need to paint yourself different colors, and maybe put some State Approved plants around where you hang out to hide your huge bulk and ungainliness. Maybe change your name from Huge Lizard to Fine Green Friendly Lizard so that people might forget how big dumb and slow you are. That should help, they say. and also you should pay some attention to what the other lizards are doing and not just wander off and do whatever you want to any more.

I'm a dinosaur too!

But you're the biggest dinosaur in the land, and nobody can tell you how to do things! You've been doing the same thing forever, and in your mind it has worked just fine. (Remember that dinosaurs have little tiny brains for their size). So while the other dinosaurs finally figure out what all those bothersome little ants want (the customers), you continue as you were, because you know best. And you never see the comet.

And so it goes with the PLCB.  For example, the other control states (why can't we be more like New Hampshire?) finally figured out what the new hot brands of vodka are, ones that the people want to try, and put out a list. Now I can't imagine how long it takes a bunch of bureaucrats to figure out what is "hot" compared to the free market (maybe they chipped in and got a subscription to Market Watch), but they did and published it in the March 10th issue of the control state magazine (18 readers and dropping!).

You won't be surprised to learn that the PLCB has ONE of the five hot brands listed. Is it something new and unusual that their buyers discovered? Of course not. It is Elyx, a high-end variant of Absolut, and while it's admittedly excellent and quite different...it's garnered a ton of press, and is a variant of the largest selling imported vodka in the PLCB inventory. I bet that took some real effort on the part of the PLCB to pick it out.

The PLCB knows whats hot!

If you are curious, the "hot" vodkas picked out by the control states (except PA) are:
1. Goral Vodka Master.
2. Absolut Elyx Vodka
3. Bombora Vodka
4. Black Death Vodka
5. Danzka Vodka

Remember how the goal of the PLCB is to be better than Utah?  Utah carries two of these. Want to guess how many are available in the private stores across the Delaware river?

When Macy's doesn't have the color you want: you go to another store.
When Boscov's doesn't have the style you want: you go to another store.
When Giant doesn't have the meat you want: you go to another store.
When Mattress King doesn't have the mattress you want at the price you want to pay: you go to another store.
When the PLCB doesn't have what you want...you have to (illegally) go to another state!

Private business, private retail, is how America shops for everything else. When will Pennsylvania see booze normality?

Pennsylvania isn't even a good Liquor Control State

Seventeen states are considered "Liquor Control" states with only two, Pennsylvania and Utah, fully controlling wine and liquor sales from warehouse dock to retail counter. Pennsylvania is by far the largest system, mainly because of the wine monopoly, and because it has the largest population; not because the PLCB is doing anything special or inventive, or God forbid, efficient.

In fact, even their peers in other control states say they aren't doing anything special or innovative. In December StateWays Magazine* gave out their first ever "Control States Best Practices Awards" and the winner of the "Best of the Best" was not the PLCB, It was the Virginia Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control. The winner for "Best Technological Innovation" wasn't Pennsylvania either even after the millions spent in cost overruns; it went to New Hampshire and Iowa. Iowa won for their web portal ordering system, which is sorta like the one that the PLCB is working on rolling out, only theirs is in place and working. Kind of like the way SEPTA keeps promising a farecard system (like the ones other transit systems have had for decades); maybe it's a Pennsylvania problem.

The PLCB pretty much got smoked. They didn't win "Best Retail Innovation," that was Idaho who didn't spend over $4 million to come up with "TableLeaf" like PA did; or "Best Enforcement Program," which went to little Montgomery County, Maryland. Probably never having your state stores checked for underage compliance by the police had something to do with that one. The PLCB did tie for "Best Responsible Consumption Program" with North Carolina, but hasn't achieved the results that NC has so far. That could be because North Carolina spends a lot less on advertising and more on education than PA for their size.

Want the best wines? Better figure on taking a trip.

StateWays also has their own Best Wines of 2015 listing. They don't say if their selections are available in control states or not, but a quick check of the top two in each category shows that the Pennsylvania State Stores:

• Don't have the top 2 Malbecs
• Don't have the top 2 Sauvignon Blancs
• Do have the #1 Rose, but only SLO (minimum quantity 12) and priced 7% higher than the magazine lists.
• Do have the #2 Rose...in five of the 603 stores at only 9% higher than the magazine lists.
• Don't have the top 2 American Cabernet Sauvignons
• Does have the #1 Merlot, but as SLO only (minimum quantity 12) at 71% higher ($50 ea) than the magazine price.
• Doesn't have the #2 Merlot

So this quick look shows that the PLCB stocks 1 in 10 (at 5 stores) and can get 2 others if you want to pay more, sometimes A LOT more. (We're always told by the State Store Apologists that these SLO and allocations are set by the suppliers, not the PLCB: really? Then why don't they set them for the other control states?)
 
Of course, the free market doesn't think PA is up to snuff either. The The American Wine Consumer Coalition ratings show PA ranked 47th with an "F" grade for Consumer Access To Wine, joining the large group of control states at the bottom of the ranking. All our border states rate  higher, though, including the two bordering control states, Ohio and West Virginia. Who would have thought getting wine is easier in West Virginia?

Simply, we deserve better, and to be clear: better is not more PLCB, or a different flavor of PLCB, or a "modernized" PLCB. Better is NO PLCB. Tell your legislators: full privatization, no half-measures.


*StateWays is written for commissioners, board members, headquarters personnel, and retail store managers responsible for buying beverage alcohol in the control states, according to themselves.