A meeting in the $40,000 PLCB drinking lounge they have set up in Harrisburg. The big screens are showing the Travel Channel, and soft music is playing. The question: what to do about the cheeky ad Total Wine ran directly comparing prices with the State Fine Store Wine and State Good Store Spirits Shoppes; and not too good a comparison for the drones in old Harrisburg. Ideas are not developing, but then someone gets a rush of blood to the brain.
"Hey, let's allow this rum to be put on special. We'll make up some cool tags and let everybody know we can put bottom shelf liquor on special too." No one has any better ideas, so the mighty marketing muscle of the PLCB lurches into action.
The next week, the sale is on, but the one brainy manager in the system (who runs the store in Snow Shoe, open three days a week for customer convenience) spots something amiss. "There is something that doesn't look right with these tags. It did pass the Art Department, The Printers, the Marketing Department, The Store Operations Director, and then was approved by the Board though, so I guess it is OK.
"But I thought that a liter was a third more than a 750ml. I guess I was taught wrong in school if all those smart people agree it's actually 25% more. Wait, isn't 'then' used to indicate time of some kind, and it's 'than' that's used for comparative purposes? Naw, they couldn't have two mistakes on one tag; nobody is that incompetent, not even in Harrisburg! Well, nobody will notice anyway. If our guys didn't catch it, then (or is it than?) the public won't either. What do they know about math and grammar compared to the folks in charge of the PLCB!"
Yup. It's a classic. Pure PLCB.
No wonder the PLCB doesn't like selling liters anywhere other than at their so-called "outlet" stores. The math makes their brains hurt!
(P.S. Total Wine sells the 1.75L at a lower cost per oz even with the PLCB "sale")
I'm probably your only reader who has actually been to the Snow Shoe store, and you're right...their manager probably has more sense than any three executive management types in H'burg!
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter to all but the PLCB!
If I didn't know better I would have thought this was an April Fools joke.
ReplyDeleteThe next time you are inSnow Show you can tell the Manager "Good Job!" and show him the story. LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteThe "then" should be "than" on the tag pictured...
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of grammar, what are "State Fine Store Wine and State Good Store Spirits Shoppes"? (sic)
"The one brainy manager in the system..."
ReplyDeleteI can respect your anti-PLCB stance, but I'm sure you can do it without making sweeping statements criticizing the intelligence of PLCB store managers, considering you've only encountered a tiny fraction of them.
No, actually, it's quite hard to do that, given how dysfunctional the system is. Put another way... I'm constantly told by PLCB supporters that if I don't like the way booze is sold in the state, I should move away. If PLCB employees don't like the assumptions that come with being employed by such a ludicrous, malfunctioning, corrupt organization...maybe they should take their own advice and get another job.
ReplyDeleteI still think petty invective like that detract from the well-thought arguments you put on this site. To me, it's similar to the assumptions made about fervent anti-PLCB crusaders being alcoholics by default. They're not, nor are all PLCB store managers idiots.
ReplyDeleteWell look at the so called managers of PLCB stores compared to a manager of a private liquor store.
ReplyDeleteDoes the PLCB manager have hire- fire authority> No Does a private manage - Yes
Does the PLCB manager have product selection decision making? Not really, being able to ASK if you can have a few items is not the same as being able to order what you want for your store.
Does the PLCB manager have product placement authority? No, the PLCB sends down exactly where they want each product on the shelf.
Does the PLCB manager have control over when the store is open or closed? No
Does the PLCB manager have control over security in his own store? No. Do all private managers, no but they have a lot more input on it if not decision making power.
The list goes on....What they do wouldn't be considered "managing" in a real store.
Does any one really believe this story? Albert writes about the Total Wine ad on a Friday At 4.30pm, the PLCB works furiously to produce the tag and get it to Snow Shoe by Saturday morning because They are afraid someone from there will drive to Delaware to buy booze for Easter? Wowsers! If you think the managers are dumb you must believe that double about your readers! The truth about this tag is even funnier but I'll let the readers figure it out for themselves. I have faith they can do it. Hint. Go to your nearest W & S store and try to find this tag. Ask how long ago Castillo dropped in price.Try to find any spring out type plastic tags that aren't from a vendor.
ReplyDeleteDoes any one really believe this story? Albert writes about the Total Wine ad on a Friday At 4.30pm, the PLCB works furiously to produce the tag and get it to Snow Shoe by Saturday morning because They are afraid someone from there will drive to Delaware to buy booze for Easter? Wowsers! If you think the managers are dumb you must believe that double about your readers! The truth about this tag is even funnier but I'll let the readers figure it out for themselves. I have faith they can do it. Hint. Go to your nearest W & S store and try to find this tag. Ask how long ago Castillo dropped in price.Try to find any spring out type plastic tags that aren't from a vendor.
ReplyDeleteSatire just confuses the shit out of you doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteThat explains a lot. We shouldn't confuse this blog with the truth.
ReplyDeleteFor several years the store on Market St in Harrisburg had a banner in the front window and the word liquor was actually spelled "liqour." When it was finally pointed out it was down the same day.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is the sign did or does exist. To think that the PLCB could move to do something in response to the Total Wine ad in under a week, that I had access to the Harrisburg drinking room and that I traveled to Snow Shoe to record the manager is not.
ReplyDeleteGod, no wonder Wendell has to keep saying the same thing over and over. I understand now.