Reasons why the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board should be abolished, and The Almighty Liquor Code completely overhauled and rewritten, to reflect over 80 years of change since Repeal.
The most important letters at the PLCB are C...Y...A. That's right; the agency runs on Cover Your Ass. Have a look.
In the Winter/Spring issue of the PLCB propaganda magazine "Taste," they had, on the cover, featured a drink called the Aviation, which requires creme de violette. It is a crucial ingredient in the cocktail, a necessity. But the PLCB didn't sell creme de violette at the time, except as a "special liquor order" (the aptly-named SLO) with a minimum order of six bottles. It sure seemed like they were telling anybody who wanted to make the drink featured on the cover of their own magazine -- who didn't want to spend $100 on a six-bottle SLO -- to go out of state to buy the proper ingredients. Of course, after having that pointed out, the PLCB approved creme de violette 2 months later. I'm not sure if it is really on the shelf yet, and how long will it be before they decide it isn't meeting their Five Year Plan of Sales and de-list it...again?
This isn't the first time the PLCB has put drinks in their rag that you can't make if you're stuck shopping at the State Stores, and I'm sure it won't be the last, either. ..again.
Get it while you can...or go out of state...again
Of course the most famous incident of CYA in the PLCB was when they tried to hide the whole wine kiosk fiasco as documented here. Nothing like trying to destroy evidence to inspire confidence in a public organization. Then there was the whole TableLeaf (and others) house brand disaster, and again, somehow all the paperwork on who instituted the idea, who initially approved it and why - all of that has disappeared.
We can go back to the big Oracle upgrade that went more than 200% over budget ($25.8M to $66.6M) because the PLCB couldn't read and understand the contract they signed. The Auditor General had a great time with that one, stating, "This raises questions about the PLCB's ability to adequately contract for information technology solutions." And that wasn't even the first time that was brought up by the AG. That earlier report is no longer on line at the AG website but I have a copy if you want to read it.
In fact, just reading all of the AG audit reports show a history of CYA. Remember the smile training that the husband of a senior PLCB official "won"? While the AG did say it was legal -- barely -- that didn't stop the PLCB from authorizing a second year as if to rub it in. Strangely enough, customer complaints increased.
We're happy to get you anything you want (if that has been authorized by people who know nothing about the liquor industry)!
"Each board member evaluates each license application on its own merits,
thoughtfully deliberating over each decision and voting as he deems
appropriate," says Elizabeth Brassel, Mistress Of Propaganda PLCB. Except when the Democratic Governor asks the Democratic Chairman to change his vote, like just happened when the Board "Freed The Six-Pack"....in a whole nine stores. That's about 1,416,667 people per "freed" store. I hope they hired extra cashiers.
Lining up for them freed six-packs; thanks, Wolfman!
I copied this from a Facebook post; I don't think the original poster will mind. The idea is that while the Senators fiddle and diddle and talk about "modernizing" the PLCB instead of privatizing it -- privatization that the majority of Pennsylvanians continue to support -- we should remind the Senate what a great job the PLCB is doing. So...get on the phone, send an email, and let your Senator know that the PLCB deserves credit for all the things they're doing!
Tell them that you really thought the wine kiosks were innovative
that TableLeaf is the best thing since the PLCB spent over $4 million to rename Wine and Spirits to Fine Wine and Good Spirits
that you're impressed with the string of record annual sales figures (and the bookkeeping skills needed to explain why the net assets of the PLCB are negative)
that thy have an amazing jobs program going that has more employees now with 601 stores then there were with 692 stores in 2000
that it's great that the PLCB spend more on advertising than on education
that they're saving money as the 3rd largest purchaser of wine in the world by not bothering to have a trained sommelier on staff?
that smile training should be mandatory for all state workers (especially when you can keep it "all in the family")
that you really appreciate having 90 stores less than there were in 2000 so there wouldn't be a liquor store on every corner.
Pretty amazing when you add it all up, isn't it? Remember: call your senator today...and then call them again next week. And the following week. And so on, till you get a good reason why they'd rather vote against what the citizens want than for it.
Joe Conti's gone, and we're somewhat sorry to see him go. He was, as the alliteration-happy Commonwealth Foundation might put it, The Autocrat of Arrogance, King of The Kiosks, notorious Nabob of Nepotism, and the Duke of (Tone) Deafness. He will be back as a consultant, of course -- he is also the Prince of the Public Trough -- so we have hope that he'll still deliver us a final Endowment of Embarrassment!
In the meantime, here are our most fond memories of Joe Da CEO, and what he did to further the cause of privatization of the State Store System, along with a range of 1-20 points for each incident's CONTI score (that's Corruption, Oblivious-to-Consequences, Nepotism, Thick-Wittedness, and Insider-itis). Plenty of links to the blogposts that describe them too, and I have to say, they're some of my favorites. It was so much fun to rant about Joe Da CEO.
Joe's Job. Conti's CEO position was created out of whole cloth by Governor Ed Rendell, and apparently filled without advertising, without any other candidates being interviewed, and without any real clue on why it was needed. Here's the story. That might explain why Conti seemed to do nothing for the first two years he was in the position (though we were told he spent that time..."planning"). Score: 4. More about Joe, than it is Joe...but the shape of things to come.
Dr. Rendellstein's Monster. This was a minor incident, but one of my favorites, because it illustrated just how overly-independent the PLCB is. Rendell hears about the original TableLeaf "rebranding" idea, and has Conti in to talk about it. "The governor expressed his opinion that the PLCB stores as currently
named were recognizable and had a brand value of their own and he
strongly discouraged PLCB from attempting to change the names of the
stores... The governor was vocal in making his opinion known." Conti recalled the meeting differently. "[Conti] described the meeting with Mr. Rendell as "more a directional
discussion" covering a wide range of topics. "The governor was delighted
with everything he saw," said Mr. Conti." Just amazing. Score: 8. A small gem of Continess.
Playing Restaurant Favorites. On Conti's watch: the PLCB
opened a mini-winestoreinside Garces Trading Company, Jose Garces
deli/grocery. Really kind of cool...and really kind of unfair to all the
other BYOs in Philly who would love to have a little winestore
in-house, but never got asked(except when Conti allegedly offered one to Stephen Starr...see below). No more have opened, and Garces has
distanced himself from the concept. Score: 9. Tone-deaf, but Conti was not too publicly vocal about it.
TableLeaf. He spent a lot of money on it for no understandable reason: rebranding a legal, police-enforced monopoly? When that got too ugly, he changed his mind and taped it on the front of a PLCB-created "house" wine brand. And then, when people got pissed off that the house brand was deliberately undercutting private winemakers...he lied about it. Score: 10. Classic Conti characteristics, but a fairly small affair; an extra point for some bold lying.
Fighting Privatization. Despite noting several times that it wasn't his job to fight privatization -- that was all up to the Legislature! -- Conti spent a lot of public time doing just that. One of the best was during this Legislative hearing, where he did what he does so well. He lied (about how much money privatization would "lose" the State, and about the results of the PLCB's internal review of the wine kiosks), he blustered, he threatened, and he obfuscated...all of it while fighting the idea of privatization, which he said he wasn't there to do. Score: 11. No corruption, just doing his job. Wait...he said it wasn't his job. It's confusing.
How many wine kiosks did you want?
The Death of the Wine Kiosks. Almost as much fun as the spectacle of the Wine Kiosks themselves was Conti's complete loss of reality-grip when the The Invincible Wine Robot Army (see below) was finally defeated at the Battle of Wegmans.
Faced with total annihilation of his cherished idea, and the utter
commercial failure of the misbegotten wine automata, what was Conti's
reaction? "It certainly wasn't a failure." "I still think there is merit to the program." "It didn't end up successful, but we learned a lot and we will end up better for it." Score: 13. Would have been higher, but no nepotism or (detectable) corruption. Just arrogance and stupidity.
The Courtesy Contract. If you've forgotten...the PLCB let a contract (on a low-ball bid) for "Improving basic customer service skills" to a company run by the husband of a PLCB regional manager. Conti's watch, and he loved it: "This is a vast adventure, and it's one we have to take," he said And the training was ridiculous, probably unnecessary (there was a customer complaint once every 288,000 transactions...), and ineffective: customer complaints actually went up after the training. And Conti decided to continue it. The Auditor General said: "Although this contract was awarded according to the letter of the law, there are several incidents that occurred that raise serious concerns and put the PLCB's procurement procedures in question." Conti's reaction? Vindication. Classic. Score: 14. No obvious personal corruption. And the nepotism was someone else's...
The Wine Kiosks (AKA The Invincible Wine Robot Army). The most amazing idea that could never work. Here's a video of just how ridiculous they were in case you'd forgotten:
Conti oversaw this Carnival of FAIL from the initial flawed idea, through the single-bidder contract
(to the completely inexperienced company that was heavy with
contributors to Gov. Rendell's campaign), through overriding the advice
of a PLCB internal review to reject the idea (which he then lied aboutto a Legislative hearing) to the bloated execution (which hid costs) and the eventual disaster that was the implementation. You can see most of that here. Score: 18.Close to perfect, but no obvious nepotism.
Contigate. According to the state Inspector General, Conti accepted Phillies and Union tickets from PLCB vendors and "lobbied" vendors and restaurateur Stephen Starr for a job for his daughter; Conti may also have hinted in the same conversation with Starr that maybe Starr could get one of the sweet in-store PLCB "winebox" pop-up stores like Jose Garces got (and NO ONE ELSE seems to be able to get). And...he was dumb enough (or arrogant enough; your pick) to use his State-issued Blackberry to do the business. Score: 20. Doesn't get much more Conti than this.
Ah, Joe, Joe...it was great to have you around. It kept the fight interesting, and kept it fair, too. I mean, it was just 2/3 of the citizens of the Commonwealth vs. the UFCW and the Legislature! But you and your great ideas like the wine kiosks kept us going!
Too bad the PLCB's dumb enough to hire you back at $80 an hour as a consultant. Yeah, really, they are...on an official "emergency" basis. That's a move so dumb you'd almost think it was Joe's... Score: 22.
Back in 2009, we heard rumors that the PLCB was considering changing the name on the State Store System. They were spending a lot of money on it, too: $3.7 million, which may seem a bit exorbitant, considering you're talking about changing the name on a Police-Enforced Monopoly retail system. I mean, what were we going to do...buy our booze at the State Store 10 miles away instead? (Or, if you live in, say, Potter County, at the State Store 110 miles away?) What a waste: why does the State Store even bother? We are forbidden by law to buy booze anywhere else. What the hell do they care?
After spending the money (with a California-based firm, thanks so much, because Pennsylvania firms are all staffed by dopes, apparently), the best they could come up with was "Table Leaf." Which means...what, exactly? Anything to do with the best-selling vodka (Jacquin's Royale, very high-end), or the best-selling wine (Sutter Home White Zin, the plonker's choice)? No, not much to do with anything, and I was waiting to crucify them when they plastered that on the front.
Well, unfortunately, they came to their senses, and just call the State Stores "Fine Wine and Good Spirits." Dopey, right? Still, they'd spent all that money coming up with "Table Leaf," so they stuck it to another brilliant program: a house brand wine. They've recently rolled out TableLeaf Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Chardonnay. (Note that there seems to be some disagreement on whether it's "TableLeaf" or "Table Leaf." Typical.)
So...the PLCB loves its suppliers so much that they've decided to go into competition against them! They're not satisfied with swinging their ponderous regulatory and monopoly weight against beer retailers;* they're going to use it against winemakers too!
Think about it, say you're Cycles Gladiator Cabernet Sauvignon, a nice wine we've bought for BYO dinners. You're on the shelf at the State Store System for $9.99, a good price. So now, your retailer, wholesaler, and regulator suddenly throws in their own brand, in direct competition, at $8.99...oh, and by the way, it shows up as an alternative selection every time you look at a cabernet sauvignon on the PLCB website, and you know damned well every clerk knows about it when people ask for a cab. I'd feel hard done by, but what are you going to say? You going to complain to your regulator? Not likely.
Kinda good to see the PLCB acting like the dominating, monopolistic SOBs they actually are, you know? This is government directly undercutting private business by manipulating their law-granted, police-enforced monopoly status. Is this fair? Privatize!
*Remember Dominic Origlio's line from the beer registration fiasco hearings? "I would be remiss without mentioning what I believe is the underlying cause of these regulatory and enforcement problems. Pennsylvania's beer industry is regulated by its competitor -- the Liquor Control Board, a state run corporation which sells wine and liquor."
"...there was [in 1997] no overarching passion within the General Assembly, or in the public at large, for privatization. Unless and until there is a general hue and cry, it is very unlikely there will be a privatization initiative that succeeds." -- John E. Jones III, former PLCB chairman
Send them to me. I'd love to hear from you, and take those ideas and blend them with mine. And if you're in favor of the continuing existence of the PLCB, well, send me that, too. If it makes sense, I'll publish; if it doesn't, I'll publish it also, but I may have to disagree with you.
