Tuesday, December 22, 2015

The Night Before Budget

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the House,
Not a creature was stirring, not even an LCB mouse.
[They are closed, you know]

The bills were all stacked on the desks with great care,
In hopes that a budget soon would be there.

The Governor was snuggled all warm in his bed,
With spending and taxes happy dreams in his head.

With Dems in his pocket and no stop gap,
He'd just settled his brain for a short winter’s nap.

Just a friendly sheep here, yup. 
When out in the state arose such a clatter,
He jumped from his bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window he flew in a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave a luster of spotlights on The Framework below.

When what to his wondering eyes should appear:
The Republican Caucus, all filled with cheer.

Their majority strong, "No new taxes!" their cry,
More rapid than eagles their proposals did fly.

They whistled and shouted and called out their names:
"Now Liquor, Now Smoking, Now New Instant Games!

On Driller, On Business, On Fracking and more!
On Pensions, On Teachers, School Spending galore!

To the top of the Capitol, the top of the wall,
Now vote on them! vote on them! vote on them all!"

And up to the housetop the Caucus they flew,
With a balanced budget and some new spending too.

But then in a twinkling we all heard on the air,
The whining and threats of The Wolf from his lair.

"My budget's holistic, you must understand,
Includes taxes and spending there for everyman.

It’s a bundle of taxes I’ll fling on your back,
(With a promise that later you might get some slack)."

His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples so merry
(His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry),

When he spoke of the taxes all lined in a row,
The beard on his chin just quivered, just so.

But he held his spending plan tight to his breast —
Special interests to pay back; ignore all the rest.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave us to know we had all to dread;

He turned off the mic and went straight to his work;
Headed down to the halls where the lobbyists lurk.

First on his list was the State Liquor Store,
He must keep it open, privatization no more!

He tells us the free market would surely raise prices,
And monopoly's best for this most tasty of vices.

"I won’t give the people what they've wanted for years;
It’s much more important to keep state store cashiers!"

It was a long night, as The Wolf clawed and fought,
And schemed to keep progress remaining at naught.

But I heard him exclaim as he went back to bed,
“Happy Christmas to all. My budget's not dead!”


Jayhawk1936 said...

Very good, Lou. You are quite the poet. Hope you have a Merry Christmas.

Anonymous said...

Tomorrows vote will tell whether Speaker Turzai has worn out his welcome. Could be a major power shake up on the offing.

Albert Brooks said...

Actually Reed is the leader of the Caucus.