It is to laugh

I don't do much on wine, but every once in a while the PLCB does something with wine to draw my attention. Today it was a document about their wine specialists in the stores.  It started out with "Each one of our highly trained Wine Specialists at Fine Wine & Good Spirits Premium Collection stores can help you find what you need or suggest something..."

There are 111 people listed as Retail Wine Specialists in the PLCB, along with a dozen Wine Specialty Coordinators. Up until mid-February, there was also a Specialty Wine Consultant, but the position is no longer listed; that one guy retired. I guess he took the secret knowledge with him. Most of the 111 are working as wine folks in the stores. I don't know what the 12 "Coordinators" do exactly. 

But I do know that not all the Retail Wine Specialists have even the most basic industry recognized certification, just the "PLCB" training, the kind that is recognized only by the PLCB.

These are real; the PLCB training is not.

At the Coordinator level, not all of them have even mid-level industry recognized certifications.  Remember: these are the folks selecting wine for the entire state, Keep in mind that nobody in charge of the operation has any high-level training. Not even the lowest level of  "Introductory Sommelier" at the PLCB. Of course, this matches the Board and senior executives who don't even have the lowest level of experience in the non-monopoly liquor or wine industry. That isn't to say there aren't any in the PLCB; they just aren't the ones in charge who make decisions about what the entire state is allowed to buy or drink.

You would think that as the second or third largest buyer of wine on the continent would feel the need to have a Master Sommelier on staff, but on reflection, you can understand why the PLCB doesn't. They don't have to lead in any category, only follow. They don't have to satisfy ALL consumers, just the majority. They don't have to have a business model that expands the boundaries, just one that pushes unsold wine on the populace and calls it a great idea.

Having 111 people listed as "wine specialists" sounds good, but unless you have 111 people that are actually recognized as wine specialists outside the PLCB, you're just misleading the public again. Are your specialists are as good as somebody whose livelihood depends on his knowledge and return customers? These home-grown 'specialists' are the same kind of internal self-congratulation the PLCB engages in when they "self-audit" their compliance with underage drinking laws. Hey, why not tell the IRS you're going to "self-audit" your taxes this year!

The PLCB has a lot of convincing to do. Convince us that having ten wine specialists in Philadelphia, a city of 2+ million, is better than having 50 wine shops. Convince us that having higher prices for the consumer and pitiful price breaks for resellers is good for us. Convince us that being $1.6 Billion in debt is somehow good for the state. Convince us that having people with no industry experience lead is a good way to run things. That's an uphill climb. We deserve better.

One last thing: if anyone at the PLCB believes that I'm wrong about the lack these certifications, you already have the list of names published. Just put the certifications next to the names. I won't hold my breath.

Privatize.

No joy for whisky drinkers - thanks PLCB.

First we had the Pappy Van Winkle debacle, where the PLCB didn't know that when you have a monopoly on a product that is in very high demand for that product, and you tell everybody all at once that the product is available...there will be a rush to get said product. It seems nobody in Harrisburg went to business school or understands basic demand.

Now we have the picks for the top malt whiskies of the year being released, and like with the wine lists that I chronicled on the blog starting back on Nov, 11th, it doesn't look good for PA.

Top Speyside Single Malt - Craigellachie 17 - NOT AVAILABLE IN PA.

Top Islay Single Malt - Signatory 1998 bottling of Laphroaig - NOT AVAILABLE IN PA.

Top Islands/Highland Single Malt - Arran The Devil’s Punchbowl III The Fiendish Finale -
NOT AVAILABLE IN PA.

Top Lowlands/Campbeltown Single Malt - Rosebank 21 - NOT AVAILABLE IN PA.

Top World Whisky - Broger Burn Out - While also not available in PA, they get a pass, since I can't find it anywhere in the U.S.

The PLCB slogan should be - "Only the rest, never the best"