Dangerous Things

We citizens of the Commonwealth are lied to every day by the PLCB, its associated unions, and seemingly every Democrat in the Legislature about how we need The State Stores to protect us from ourselves. That alcohol is the one drug that requires not only regulation by the state but state employees to sell it to us. Never mind that the alcohol in beer is exactly the same...but for some reason that can be sold by private businesses, or that the alcohol in a drink is exactly the same, and that can be sold by private businesses too (although they do want them to have their special PLCB training (which is of dubious value)).

What about all the different legal drugs? Why is it that pharmacies aren't run by the state and pharmacists state employees? Prescription drugs, by definition, need to regulated, but it seems that private business can handle that. There were almost a third more prescriptions filled in Pennsylvania in 2014 than all the bottles and boxes of wine and liquor of all sizes sold by the PLCB. Remember that these are drugs that the Federal government says are too unsafe to be sold without control, yet every state sells them through private businesses. Hard to explain why they aren't under state control, given the booze idiocy we put up with in Pennsylvania.

Drugs and alcohol are an apples to apples comparison. You can't explain why they are treated any differently on one side, because the other side is exactly the same. A logical fallacy has to exist: that fallacy is that we need State Stores and State Store employees to safely sell us wine and spirits. More proof is offered in that a strong majority of states have privately-owned retail alcohol sales, including every one of the states bordering the Commonwealth. Guess what: add them all up, and on a per capita basis, they do better in every alcohol harm statistic — DUI, underage DUI, binge drinking, underage binge drinking, and alcohol-related fatalities — than Pennsylvania. The "control" is not working.

How about guns? There is a saying that guns don't kill people; people kill people. Politics aside, it's at least partially true, since unless you beat somebody to death with your gun, you also need bullets. You can have all the guns you want, but without ammunition you probably aren't going to kill anything. However, while there are all sorts of regulations and controls on guns (though they are also sold by private businesses), there aren't many on ammunition. If you can buy cigarettes, you can buy bullets. Taking one drink won't kill anyone (despite what your D.A.R.E instructor may have said). One bullet can, yet you can go buy a whole box of bullets at Walmart. Is the state really looking out for our safety? 

The myths just keep exploding

So if we aren't safer having State Stores...why keep them? State revenue? How much is less safety and the worthless and patronizing annoyance of the State Stores worth? The entire non-tax contribution of the PLCB is 3/10ths of 1% of the budget. Chump change, a rounding error. So maybe it's the political patronage and nepotism. We have to deal with a system that is less convenient, has less selection, keeps us less safe, but still costs more, so some political hacks can have a nice state job? 

Or is it the entirety of the agency, a jobs program? If it's a jobs program, it's insignificant. The entire PLCB isn't even 1/10 of 1% of the state's full-time employment. You could fire every one of them, and the state unemployment rate wouldn't even quiver. If we're going to pay for a jobs program, how about we just add some jobs at PENNDOT?  We can pay for them by eliminating the Turnpike Commission and folding those jobs into PENNDOT. At least that will get something useful done.

I'm going to bet that it's union influence and a continuing stream of campaign money given to certain legislators (and directly to the parties) that keeps us from being normal. The State Store System clearly isn't better than privately-run stores, or other states would be moving toward it, and that certainly isn't happening. People want freedom of choice, and a monopoly can never provide that.

Private business is normal. 

Private sales are normal. 

Regulated business is normal. 

State-run retail is NOT normal.

Let's move toward normal.

Reason #16: Scary Booze!!!

In Quakertonia, all gasoline and diesel fuel sales are made by the state's Fuel Control Board; kerosene and propane are sold by private businesses (fuel distributors can only sell 55 gallon drums of kerosene and 500 lb. tanks of propane; grill stores can sell 20 lb. grill tanks and five gallon cans of kerosene. No one knows why). Every town of 3,000 people gets a Fuel Shop; the price is the same in every town -- high -- diesel is only available in special stations on the highways, and the sales clerks are only allowed to sell fuel to licensed drivers. Fuel sales are "controlled" by the state because gasoline is highly flammable and the vapors are explosive (and carcinogenic), and because uncontrolled gasoline sales could lead to people driving all over the place (which apparently has no ill effects in neighboring, "uncontrolled" states) and because the taxes are a huge source of revenue.

In New Cornwall, all cigarette and cigar sales are made by the state's Tobacco Control Board; pipe and chewing tobacco are sold by private businesses (leaf shops sell Prince Albert in the can (hee hee!) and 20-packs of Skoal; gas stations can sell bags of Red Man and single cans of Copenhagen. No one knows why). Every town of 3,000 people gets a Smoke Shop; the prices are the same in every town -- high -- cigars are only available in stores in big cities, and the sales clerks are only allowed to sell smokes to 16 year olds and up. Tobacco sales are "controlled" by the state because tobacco is a health hazard (which apparently is no worse in neighboring, "uncontrolled" states than in New Cornwall) and because the taxes are a huge source of revenue.

In Minnewaska, all prescription drugs -- no, wait -- all guns are sold by -- no, hang on, how about all the cars, yeah, the state sells all the cars and you're not allowed to buy cars in another state... and coffee, too. And power tools. And energy drinks. And horny goat weed.

You get the picture. Why is wine and spirits the only retail business the State is in? What makes booze so special?

Reason #16:

There is no convincing reason that wine and spirits should be "controlled" more than anything else.

The basis for "control" is, first of all, over 75 years out of date. It goes back to the idea that drinking, any amount of drinking, was dangerous for anyone, not just alcoholics. More to the point, control of alcohol was more about morals than it was about anything else. Here's what The Almighty Liquor Code says about why the PLCB was founded:

for the protection of the public welfare, health, peace and morals of the people of the Commonwealth and to prohibit forever the open saloon, and all of the provisions of this act shall be liberally construed for the accomplishment of this purpose.

You know what? Back in those days there were all kinds of laws about morality. Depending on the state or town, you could be busted for selling a condom (now they sell 'em in vending machines), stores didn't open on Sundays (even the State Stores are open on Sundays now), you couldn't sell porno through the mail (they give it away on the Internet...), you couldn't even swear on TV. All that went away, and lots of other things from that same kind of thinking, but Pennsylvanians still have to put up with the State selling them booze, and protecting their health, peace, and morals.

Come on! I can buy a can of diesel fuel at the Sunoco station, a bag of fertilizer at the Agway, and The Anarchist Cookbook off Amazon. I can buy a gun (we get constant wrong numbers for a local gunshop), I can buy everything I need to cook up crystal meth (or so they tell me), I can buy a tank of propane, I can buy cigarettes, I can buy an aluminum baseball bat, I have bought long kitchen knives. Compared to this stuff, what is so damned dangerous about a bottle of merlot that the state has to control my access to it?

The entire idea of control is pointless. We do not have border controls; New Jersey's got stores full of whiskey and wine right over there and they don't control me. We can buy a case of 11% beer at the privately-owned distributor. We can go to a bar and drink whatever they have. The only thing "control" does...is make buying booze a pain in the ass.

The PLCB should be abolished because the idea that sales of wine and spirits need to be "controlled" makes no sense when compared to other products: guns, explosives, drugs, tobacco, cars, airplanes, knives, power tools... The State collects taxes on wine and spirits, but it collects taxes on beer, too: through the distributors. The State makes its mark-up on wine and spirits; why not have the State sell everything, then, from groceries to fishing rods? It makes no sense, and if it weren't for the blanket interpretation of the 21st Amendment that states can do whatever they want with alcohol, it would be gone.

Let's get rid of this dinosaur. Is it just about the money? Then make it about the money. Sell it -- make money -- auction off booze store licenses -- make money -- and PA stores will be selling all that booze that the superstores over the border are selling now -- and making money.

There's no real reason not to do it.