So I Went to the Pretty New State Store...

I went to one of the new State Stores. You know the ones, with a new color palette that supposedly offers a warm, welcoming atmosphere for consumers to browse the limited selection. I wandered over to what they call the focal point of the store; a new table, where customers can find staff to answer questions or provide recommendations. Just what I was looking for. 

I waited for somebody to come over to the table.
And waited for somebody to come over to the table.
And waited for somebody to come over to the table.

Did I mention that the table was the focal point of the store?

Looks kinda empty

Ah, a wine person! They wandered over and asked if they could help.
I said, I don't know. I have some questions.
"So what are you looking for?"

Answers.
"I'll do my best, what's the first thing on your list?"

Can you name one thing that has decreased in price in the past few months?
"Sure, pints of Nikolai vodka. We have a guy that comes in everyday, well, actually we have a few,  and is so pleased that happened.  Probably our happiest customer."

Anything go up that you noticed?
"A few here and there but when the wave of 400+ hits next month I'm sure I'll see a bunch of them"

Since this store was remodeled in the same location, did any increase in products on the shelf come with the remodel?
"Oh no, with the wider aisles, this table stuck in the middle and the plants and all there are less things in the store now then there was before."
Style over substance eh?
"I can't say."
So how long were you closed for the remodel?
"About 3 months."
Doesn't that seem like a long time to be closed? Didn't the Dollar Store close for like 16 days when they remodeled?
"The Dollar Store isn't run by the PLCB."

So is this 'modernization' thing working out, or should the Legislature have gone for more privatization?
"We aren't allowed to talk about privatization"
You aren't allowed to have an opinion?
"We can have an opinion, we just aren't allowed to talk about it."
So, the powers that be in Harrisburg don't have enough faith in you workers to offer a reasonable explanation why State Stores should still exist.
"Could be but I can't talk about it."

Can I ask if you belong to the union or just pay fair share?
"I just pay fair share, most of the people in this store just pay fair share. We have too, not like there is a choice."
So how long have you been here?
"I started as a Seasonal 6 years ago, worked part time while I was in school."
Do you think of this as a career after all that time?
"No way, I'm going to an online school for my Masters. Once I have that and a job lined up where I don't have to wear an apron, I'll let somebody else take this spot."
Maybe then you can talk to me about privatization.
"Yeah, maybe then, ha ha."

I can't talk about Privatization, the PLCB doesn't trust me.

What do you say when people tell you they bought ...whatever for less in Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, Florida or wherever?
"I'm sure it is true sometimes but those chain stores or Mom & Pops don't have to have a store in Nowheresville, PA like we do. We have to support that somehow"
Why? Don't you think a grocery store would carry the basics if they could?
"You're talking about privatization again, so I can't comment."

The conversation above is semi-fictional. It didn't happen with just one clerk, but every question and answer did happen with multiple clerks over the past six months. I wish I could get managers to answer as truthfully as some of their workers, but they drink the Kool-Aid every day, and won't stand for it.

How the PLCB Sells the High End: Badly

All throughout the Pennsylvania State Store System there are pockets of unwanted, unsold products that costs thousands of dollars. They aren't sold because some cube rat in Harrisburg estimated the market wrong, they were sent to some place that doesn't have the demographics to support luxury or niche products (or the sales savvy to match them to the appropriate buyers), or most likely the PLCB didn't have a clue on pricing and thought that since they were the only seller that people would pay three times as much to get these collector level bottles.

Case in point: The case of Chateau Ausone 2003 sitting at Store #3625 in Lancaster County, located midway between the sprawling metropolis of Columbia and Lancaster itself. Just across the street from the Sunoco and  walking distance from the Dutch Apple Dinner Theater (I'm not making this up). Average housing price is $210,000, about 10% more than the U.S. average. Not the place you would expect to find a $36,000 case of wine.  That's right: $3,000 per bottle, plus 6% sales tax. The Amish must be living large.

HEY NOW! LET'S DELIVER THAT WINE TO JAKE NOW ONCE!

While Store #3625 is a "Premium Collection" store, one has to wonder why these bottles aren't in Center City Philadelphia, or someplace in Chester County, or even on-line (where the PLCB usually puts booze it doesn't understand), or at least someplace that they could be stored properly. But they're sitting out in the land of scrapple and shoo-fly pies, getting older.

You might be saying to yourself, "Well, it's expensive, sure, but maybe they got a good deal on that case." Nope, not even close. You can go east across the border and save $1,005 PER BOTTLE! Hell, you could pay someone $500 to go get it for you, and still save money! Or drive into New York and get it yourself: you'll pay even more in taxes, but you'll still save a hefty $1,775 PER BOTTLE. As I reported back in February, the PLCB doesn't even attempt to get the best prices; they sure blew it in this case.

People who buy $3,000 bottles of wine don't generally get to the point where they can buy $3,000 bottles of wine by wasting money at the PLCB. Think about it: for the cost of a nice dinner and a night in the city, you could spend a few hundred extra and get TWO bottles in New York. Or you could visit the Dutch Apple and cap off your day by spending far too much at the State Store for one bottle. The PLCB counts on us being stupid. Stupid enough to keep putting up with this. (Stupid enough to not leave the state and break the law, but that's another story.)

Then there are the eleven bottles of Chateau la Mission Haut Brion Rouge 2010 ($1,197 a pop), sitting at one and one store only in Sewickley. It does look like they managed to sell one, so maybe it is a long term thing...except the PLCB doesn't do long term things. If it doesn't sell, it will go on sale and then go on clearance. Even then it won't be as good a price as the under-$600 per bottle (delivered!) you can find in other states. The PLCB probably won't make a dime on those bottles, but that's okay: they don't have to. Being a state-owned monopoly means never having to make a profit.

So on what do we blame things like this? Overly ambitions (or easily swayed) wine buyers? Untrained sellers? Overpriced products? Why not just wrap it all up and say: the State Store System.

Privatization is the only real Modernization. We deserve it.